We met at a biodynamic fair
Don’t ask me what I was doing there
I fell in love with her dreadlocked hair that day
She was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen
A vegetarian’s wet dream
And centrefold of Vegan Magazine they say
I was just an innocent and slightly naïve, white, suburban, teenage guy
Who’d never drunk chai
I was clueless- didjeridoo-less
She opened up my mind; one day she took me with her buddies to an outdoor rave
I didn’t know how to behave at all
There was nothing both of us couldn’t go through
I stopped shaving started eating tofu
We made love and while I was coming
All I heard was African drumming
Every dream of love I had came true
Fire twirlers sprang into action
My girlfriend was the major attraction
Rings of fire flew through the air
Far too close to her clothes and her hair
Faster and faster she span
The flames flicking horribly near
I looked on in horror
I wanted to stop her
She stumbled upon a
Particularly difficult turn
And I watched while she burned…
She burned…
No one could save her
Her friends were too stoned to be concerned
We watched while she burned…
I was shocked and mortified
I’d looked on as my true love died
For months and months I cried out of control
Her friends wouldn’t leave me alone
They camped at my house and called my phone
Something about them nauseated my soul
These feral kids from wealthy homes were slumming it with their nouveau organic food
They insisted on being nude
They wore crystal deodorant and still smelt like rodents
All their new-age mantras and pathetic pagan affirmations blew my fuse
I mean for fuck’s sake, wear shoes
And get some drumming lessons
Fuck those retched soya bean eaters
Pretending to read the Baghavagida
What a bunch of cultural phiranas
A million lifetimes short of Nirvana
They were closing in and I was trapped
Then voices in my head like a choir
Told me, “It’s their fault she caught fire
Blame those skinny environmental fascists
They’re the reason your love turned to ashes”
I became focused and clear
The day of the funeral came
I now had a purpose/ her funeral service/ would be the perverse-ist and worse-ist of funerals ever held on earth…
(African drumming begins…)
The sun rose over the ocean that day
For a memorial service on the beach at Byron Bay
African chanting and primitive dancing
And more shithouse drumming than I care remembering
(drum break)
Louder and louder they pounded their percussion
My poor brain was reeling from aural concussion
Just as their rhythms crescendo’d most violent
The minister appeared and the drummers fell silent
All my emotions had swallowed and spent me
Who were these demons sent down to torment me?
I’d never rest. Yes- I swore to God solemnly
I’d kill the culture that stole my love from me
I felt the power of vengeance flow through me
I’d destroy every hippy and feral who’d screwed me
For I had a plan that I’d carried out deviously
I’d soaked the beach in petroleum just two hours previously
And on cure the fire twirlers came out in turn
I leapt into the ocean as they lit their flares and watched while they
Burned
I watched them all burn
Those motherfuckers burned
They burned.
Is this burning an eternal flame?
