You wanna have friends?
You wanna fit in?
You wanna dress right but don’t know where to begin
You want a partner who’s perfect
You want skin with no lines
When you have sex you wanna orgasm at least seven times

You wish you were smart
You wish you were cool
You wish you were happier than Michael Jackson in a primary school
You wish you had a few more friends
You wish you were a little more rich
Here’s the fucken answer baby; Drink Pepsi Bitch…

We’re sick and tired of letting you dumb fuckers choose
What do you know? You’re too preoccupied with buying new shoes
You think you have choice? Well that’s just a joke
You couldn’t even handle choosing between Pepsi and Coke

Your friends are thinner/ more popular than you
Without us you wouldn’t know what to wear or what music to listen to
You’re so vacuous and shallow/ you’re making me sick
Get on your knees/ suck on a Pepsi like you’re sucking my dick

You think without us you wouldn’t survive
But it’s just sugar and water mixed with flavour number five
How can we put it so you’ll understand?
Jesus Christ is less recognisable than the front of our can

We got a crack team of lawyers
We own your fucken employers
If you get thirsty you can buy a Pepsi here in the foyer
We’re sick of running this race
We always come second place
Now it’s time to get right up in your motherfuckin face

Ain’t no celebrity that money can’t buy
Ain’t no end to the marketing tactics we’ll try
We have no beside manner
We’ll smash it home with a hammer
We killed Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana

We own the blueprints of life
You’ll never know the full story
We built Paris Hilton in a secret laboratory
We got the whole fucking world in the palm of our hand
Our cock is a bottle/ we’ll make you suck on our brand

You sponsor kids in Rwanda? Well, drink Pepsi, Bitch
You drive a cute little Honda? Well, drink Pepsi, Bitch
You own a CD by Madonna? Drink Pepsi Bitch
You bought that book by Jane Fonda? Well, Drink Pepsi, Bitch
You drank a Starbucks coffee ever? Drink Pepsi, Bitch
You thought The Matrix was clever? Well, Drink Pepsi, Bitch
You have a job? You pay taxes?
You have a boyfriend who waxes?
Each time your credit maxes
Each time the earth spins on its axis
You drink Pepsi, Bitch
Drink Pepsi Bitch!

You want a flat screen TV?
You want a free DVD?
You want a house a car/ career/
A university degree?
The answer’s in the bottom of your fridge
Drink it up
Drink it up
Drink it up
Drink Pepsi Bitch!